“The Black Ones Are Slightly Piquant, Yet Earthy”
We all know that tribesmen and women in rain forests across the world consume insects regularly as a source of protein and fiber. Most everyone has seen the Discovery channel specials that show loin cloth girded indigenous people eating a veritable smorgasbord of bugs, leeches and creepy crawlies of every sort. In our home, however, I keep a refrigerator and pantry full of protein rich snacks – cheese, peanut butter, milk . . . no need for bug augmentation.
Just a few days ago, Sloan was playing on the floor with her supply of half dressed dollies and construction vehicles (apparently, the new trend in road development is to have your dump truck driven by a half dressed blonde woman) when she found a little black bug. “Look, Mommy, I find a buggy!” Sloan was so excited, and being the good Mommy, I started to ask her what color the buggy was, and to count the legs – when my daughter shocked me. “These kind are spicy!” I stared at her for a minute, not sure whether to gag or laugh. “I'm sorry what?!” I couldn't believe what had come out of Sloan's obviously contaminated lips. “Spicy Mommy!”
It's true, I am not the gourmet gastronome I was before I had kids, I now know 485 recipes that involve ground beef and at least another hundred that involve cream of mushroom soup. Trips to the specialty market for goat cheese and fresh figs have been replaced with trips to the mega-mart for string cheese and bruised apples, I never thought, however, Sloan would feel the need to supplement her diet rich in ground cow and canned green beans with the occasional live, six legged, creepy crawly.
What frightened me even more than the knowledge that she occasionally consumes bugs, is that she has eaten enough of them to familiarize her pallet with which are spicy, bland, sweet and salty. . . the kid is destined to be a food critic at the creepiest restaurants; “The food was bland, and slightly greasy, however, the roach I encountered was just the right combination of crispy and creamy. . . slightly piquant, yet earthy.” Or, “I recommend a nice Chianti with red beetles and lice.” Even, “I enjoyed the skewered lightning bugs with the termite vinaigrette.”
Here's the good news, Sloan is better than a pest strip inside the house, and as for the ant hills in my driveway. . . I no longer buy the toxic plutonium powder to shake down in the cracks, I just wait until lunch time, and hand Sloan a spoon - I am kidding. I have decided it's easier to laugh than to worry about the long term effects of insect consumption. In the meantime, however, Sloan brushes her teeth a LOT more often each day.
Boise City News