Barbie's dumped Ken for an Aussie; is there no sanctity?

by C.F. David

My late wife Carol really despised Barbie Dolls.

As a doting grandmother, and aunt, she bought more than her share. But she did it grudgingly. She really resented it when Barbie went P.C. (Politically Correct) However, she was silent when Barbie quit living off Ken, (what ever it is he does, but it's been theororized that he searches for WMDs which could explain a lot.) and began her career as a nurse. But, Carol drew the line at “Paleontologist Barbie”. She then began to really question Ken and Barbie's relationship and the pedigree of the little girl Kelly who hung around with them all the time. Carol was certain that Kelly really wasn't Barbie's sister. She became convinced Ken and Barbie had been “living in sin” for years.

Soon after, Barbie's personality began to slip and we soon saw Barbie, “The Motorcycle Momma.” I'm not sure any tats (That's cool talk for tattoos for you who are uncool.) were ever seen on her arms or legs; but there were rumors about her sporting a Harley symbol somewhere under her clothes.

Then she began appearing nude in “art photos” and Mattel has to pay the artist $1.8 million.

How much lower can she sink? Now comes the latest word, that at 45, Barbie has apparently suffered a mid-life crisis and dumped Ken for an Aussie boy-toy named Blaine.

Apparently, according to Mattel's website, Barbie had gotten caught up in the Reality TV craze; for Blaine was chosen for her by two million website visitors voting for him to be “The One.”

As far as I can tell, there is no information about what Blaine does for a living either; but, Barbie, at 45, ain't hurting for cash (Ken was two years younger and I understand there was a rock solid pre-nup).

So if it is as it appears; that Blaine is just an Aussie beach bum that hunts crocodiles, he'll surely be on a daily stipend from his old lady so that he doesn't stray too far from home.

One can only hope that Barbie has the common gumption (She's a city girl so that's doubtful; only girls that grow up with 4-H and FFA have gumption.) to realize that Kelly might not be safe with this Blaine guy hanging around.

The word for the week is vigilant.

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