Slinging a smooth stone
While writing this column at Dumas' Moore County News H Press I made a study of how American companies have to cover their proverbial fannies to avoid lawsuits by...well for lack of a better term...stupid consumers.
Some time, just for fun as you are shopping, turn the product you are buying over and read the warning on the back.
While taking a tour at a few local stores I learned that:
Super Glue contains cyanoacrylate. I have no clue what that is; however if it comes into contact with your skin, through you clothes it could result in burns. So this means if you lose a button off your shirt/blouse, a safety pin is still the best bet. The warning continues that if the glue were to be ingested not to induce vomiting. I assume this would be wise since if you swallowed the glue your teeth would very likely be stuck together.
Another warning; If you get car wash soap in your eyes flush them for 15-minutes. But they say nothing about the danger of high-pressure nozzles.
Aroma Therapy room spray; the instructions say the spray may be used anywhere in the home. But; the warning reads, don't use around heat, sparks, open flames or red hot surfaces; do not intentionally inhale fumes.” This means I assume the same amount accidentally inhaled won't hurt you.
Shampoo: For external use only.
Hair spray: Don't smoke until your hair is dry.
After shave: Don't use while smoking.
Well shucks those two regulate romance I guess.
Tooth paste: Do not swallow. To prevent swallowing, use a pea size amount in children under six. Well that's good to know. But won't mommy get mad when you brush your teeth with Johnny?
B eard and mustache dye: May cause blindness if used on eyebrows. May cause loss of skin pigmentation; test first.
Well I guess that answers all the questions about Michael Jackson. He's been dying his beard and eyebrows.
Hydrocortisone pet spray: Potential Gold fish swallowers should read this carefully I assume. For external pet use only.
Flea spray for dogs: Don't use on cats; fatal to fish. Soooo, if your Guppie has fleas I guess it's out of luck.
Flea collar: For external use only; but if ingested, sip soapy water (if you can swallow).
Insect repellent: For external use only; which means you'll have to find something else for those cranky intestinal parasites.
White out: Avoid contact with fabrics. Maybe that's how hemlines crept up?
Microwave popcorn: Don't leave microwave unattended. Especially if you just brought it home from the store; it might be homesick.
Microwave pizza: Let stand for five minutes before enjoying. Who wants to eat a foot weary pizza?
Gold spray paint: May cause hearing loss after years of use; may be extracted in human milk, (Yuk.) may defat skin, (This is a bad thing? I think I'll spray my belly gold.)
Easter egg dye: Not reccommended for the unsupervised use by children under three years of age.
Glue on dolls eyes (15mm size): For decrative use only; not for children under six.
The word for the week is: vouchsafe