Slinging a smooth stone
by C.F. David
Editor, The Boise City News

Michael Jackson is singing the Beatles song  With a Little Help From My Friends

If the old adage “When you're in trouble you know who your friends are.” really means anything, Michael Jackson is apparently its living persona.

According to Fox News reporter Roger Friedman, two of Jackson 's “friends” a Miami attorney and a record producer from L.A. have bailed out the “King of Pop's” overextended finances to the tune of $70 million.

This little payment, which was due on Feb. 17, will extend the Masked One's $350 million loan from the Bank of America through December 2005.

This 41-year-old living example of Peter Pan apparently has a larger debt load than some Third-World nations; and even less to show for it.

Pathetically, he probably also has more mooching hangers-on than the dictators of those same nations.

Probably, if the truth were known, the fears of Michael going bankrupt has been discussed at the highest levels.

What if it's the real reason why O'Neill left the Department of the Treasury?

Somewhere in a dim room along Pennsylvania Ave. there might have been a discussion kind of  like:

“We'll have to do something, or we'll have a financial crisis.”

“We've already bailed out New York  City and Chrysler.”

“Besides, if Bank of America forecloses how will they ever move all that junk? Who needs a Ferris Wheel, a Merry-Go-Round and who knows how many strange animals?”

“Is Bubbles the Chimp dead?”

“We'd be lucky to get ten cents on the dollar.”

“I really liked Bubbles. I liked the one Gary Moore had too, lemmee see what was his name? Oh yeah, J. Fred Muggs; and what was that chimp's name on the Beverly Hillbillies? That lucky monkey, Ellie Mae carried him everywhere.

“Let's get back to the subject; he does have the Beatles Song Catalogue.”

“Bubbles owns the Beatles Catalogue?”

No! Michael, Jacko, whatever they all call him this week.”

“He gets a code name too?”

“No!”

“But if we bail out Michael Jackson then the Governator will be on our doorstep, wanting us to bail out California.”

“How many electorial votes in California?”

“Aren't they Democrats?”

“Hmm...good point. Well my brother knows a guy in Miami; I'll give him a call.

The word for the week is moira.