Slinging a Smooth Stone

by C.F. David
Editor, The Boise City News

According to an online article in the “Oddly Enough” section of Rueters News, a Sicilian made an effort to woo back his estranged girlfriend by having a friend shoot him in the groin.

According to the article, a 27-year-old-man appeared at a hospital to have shotgun pellets removed from his groin.

The young man then claimed that he had been shot as the result of a hunting accident.

Suspicious, the Sicilian Police investigated further and learned that the 16-year-old shooter did the deed at the request of the alleged victim.

Both have been charged in the shooting, though the exact charges weren't explained.

The reason for the shooting? To win back the lost love of a girlfriend of course.

It seems the (we'll call him the shootee) had recently lost his girlfriend. She had according to the article, broken off the relationship because of the shootee's violent nature.

So in the cloudy atmosphere of his obviously dim mind, he assumed if he were accidently shot, she'd come running back to him; and (I assume), live happily ever after.

Now I will admit to have once entertained the idea of getting a young woman's name tattooed on my arm after one date. Luckily, I was disuaded from this foolish plan.

I have, however, never considered having myself shot to impress a girl; after all if it worked what would it say about her warped personality much less yours? This obviously would be a match made in heaven. As long as two people like that were married, two other individuals would be blessedly safe.

However, the young woman in question wasn't warped, and according to the article after the reason for the shooting was explained made it clear she wanted nothing more to do with him.

I am sure this genius really believes that. This guy is obviously a fan of Vincent van Gough; but he still has I assume, both ears. However,I'm sure the wheels are turning.

 “Let's see, maybe I need to loose a body part. Hmm what don't I need? What'll elicit the most sympathy? What would Vinnie do? Ah ha!

In six months this idiot will have his own reality show called I Have An Ear for Love Songs.

The word for the week is amour.