It's Guatemalan Where's Waldo

As most of you know, our son, Dodge came to live with us in April after a long journey from Guatemala . Because I had gotten Sloan successfully from infancy to toddler-hood, I thought I had everything under control – no problem. Here's a little information you might find interesting; babies aren't standard issue. This lovely little child who came to us a beautiful bouncing baby boy – the picture of tranquility, is now a beautiful storm of speed and chaos; “Hurricane Dodge”.

Dodge is crawling now, but here's the thing, he doesn't crawl in a traditional sort of way, he does this Army boot camp, avoiding barbed wire and falling bombs, low crawl. Given his revolutionary mode of transportation, I was surprised that he is such a speed demon. The kid travels at mach 3; his elbows are a blur as he pulls himself from one room to another, his little hips wiggling across the Berber and a trail of drool following him everywhere he goes. In the brief moment it takes to run to the kitchen and pour myself another cup of coffee (which I've taken to drinking by the punchbowl in order to keep up with breakneck boy) Dodge has low crawled off and disappeared; it's like Guatemalan Where's Waldo. One of the most important things I've learned is that he can no longer wear the cute camouflage sweats my mom bought him – I now keep the kid in Waldo-esque red striped t-shirts so at least he stands out. The good news is that I can typically follow the trail of spit to find him. He's like a very speedy, teething snail on the loose.

In a moment of, what I considered, brilliance, I came up with a plan. I formed a blockade in the living room; using his carrier, bouncy chair, the duffle/diaper bag, and the sleeping mastiff to wall off the living room. There was just one little hitch in my Mensa inspired giddy-up. I apparently motivated Dodge to start climbing. Dodge's first venture into anything over 18 inches tall was to scale the dog, she was thrilled. In a matter of moments my Dodge Stealth was transformed into a Dodge Charger. I am going to attribute the fact that I was outsmarted by a baby to the extreme exhaustion associated with the never ending high speed pursuit in my home.

Dodge's new foray into the world of free-hand living room climbing inspired last weekend's Feng Shui attack. I walked into the living room and found my sweet, ten-month-old, baby sitting on the coffee table - proud as pie and grinning ear to ear. I moved furniture that night.

The good news is that I've lost ten pounds in the last six weeks just chasing the newest member of our little multi-culti family. I also, no longer, need any pharmaceutical assistance to fall asleep at night, I just collapse into bed – sometimes still fully dressed. . . Oops! He's gone again, wish me luck.